Motherhen
by Abraxania
Summary: Kirk is visiting his hometown and meets his former teacher after the 5-year mission of the Enterprise. She notices that there is something more between Jim and his best friend Bones. She just needs to set things in motion. Kirk/McCoy: the true love story
1. Chapter 1

Ok, this isn't looked over by anyone. I'm no native speaker and I'm tired as hell, so this will be full of mistakes, but this is a birthday present to the most wonderful friend you can have.

Enjoy it darling! Every one else: I don't care... ;)

It's Kirk/Bones. Just because Bones is so damn hot!

And of course you know: this doesn't belong to me and so on

**1**

Mrs. Dana Ottman sighed. She loved being a teacher and working with kids but she hated those parent-teacher conferences profoundly. She entertained the thought of skipping the event and just putting a hologram of herself there repeating the same sentence with a stoic smile over and over again:

„Yes, I am the teacher and it is my fault that your child behaves like a little piece of shit at home."

At least that was the opinion of all those supermoms and superdads who gave their misbehaving kids into custody of the Iowa Riverside Starfleet Elementary with the main focus on maladjusted kids and youths. It was Dana's rockhard belief that in most cases the parents were the problem not the kids.

Only twenty minutes were left before she had to leave her office. With another sigh she lifted the cup of coffee from the table and wanted to take a long sip when she heard a rumble in the corridor, a man swearing like a sailor and then a young man laughing openheartedly. That laughter... she could have sworn she knew that voice.

Not a second later the door to her office was pushed open and a young blond with piercing blue eyes stormed in two other men following him inside the small room.

„Hi, Mrs. Ottman!" the blond in a Starfleet Captain's uniform beamed at Dana with a 1000 Watt smile. „Did you miss me?"

Dana Ottman stared at the young Captain before she put her cup down again.

„And I thought 5 years of my life with you would have been enough for the rest of my entire being."

That statement earned her another dashing smile.

„Didn't I tell you, Spock, that she's just like Bones? She's the same type of a grumpy motherhen."

„I'm a dcotor..." „I'm a teacher..." „...not a motherhen!" Dana and one of the Captain's companions answered unanimously.

„There is indeed an anstonishing resemblence in their verbal terminology." The other young man in a blue science uniform answered. His hair was black and sleek with an accurate haircut. And even without noticing the pointed ears Dana would have recognized him by his phrasing as a Vulcan.

„So you must be Commander Spock of the U.S.S. Enterprise." Dana said, not offering her hand because she knew of the Vulcan discomfort of being touched. The said officer inclined his head in agreement. Dana turned around to examine the other man who had spoken with her at the same time. He was tall, with broad shoulders and brown hair. His lips were tightly pressed together and gave him a slightly grim and bitter aura, but his hazel eyes were filled with a mixture of warmth and hurt as he watched the blond teasing him. Dana Ottman didn't have to ask who this man was. The picture of these three absolutely handsome men was ever so present in the media since their rescue of planet Earth five years ago. So they had come back from their five year mission in one piece. Still she felt the need to support the young Doctor standing there miserably like left out of a joke between his friends. What a strange constellation this trio is, Dana thought.

„And you are?" she smiled.

„That's Bones!" James T. Kirk chimed in. The adressed man sighed but took a step forward and extended a hand to Dana.

„I'm Dr. Leonard McCoy." he offered.

„Just call him Bones, Mrs. Ottman. We all do." Jim tried again.

„It's a pleasure to meet you, Leonard." Dana ignored the Captain. McCoys handshake was strong and confident. She took an immediate liking to the young Doctor. „My daughter Kathryn will be so envious when I tell her I met you. You're a real eye-candy." she winked and even took a greater liking to the man as he blushed and coughed sheepishly.

„Yes, he is." young Kirk laughed and Dana could see the good Doctor blush now fiercely. Interesting, she thought, so even you can't withstand the charisma of a certain Prince Charming.

„And what about me?" Jim whined.

Finally Dana turned around and opened her arms for a hug. „Come here, you hoodlum."

The Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise grinned goofily, resembling more a teenage boy than a highly praised officer of Starfleet and returned the hug wildly.

„It's so good to see you, Mrs. Ottman."

„Thank you very much, Jimmy. But tell me one thing. What is the commandig staff of the famous U.S.S. Enterprise doing in my office in Riverside, Iowa?"

Jim shrugged. „We had some time off while the Enterprise is in the dock for a checkup. I decided it was a good opportunity to show the guys my hometown and to visit my favourite teacher ever."

„I'm touched, Jimmy. But your favourite teacher ever? Hasn't there been at least one good teacher at Starfleet Academy?"

Leonard McCoy snorted and Spock stiffened noticeably.

„Nah... skipped most of the classes." Jim shrugged.

„Or cheated." McCoy added.

„So you didn't change a bit." Dana smiled. „Still the reckless, unruly pighead."

Kirk laughed. „That's why I keep those guys around. He's the brain..." he pointed at Spock. „And Bones patches me up every time I didn't listen to Spock."

„I had to patch you up long before there was a Spock trying to talk sense into that emptiness between your ears." the young doctor mumbled and Dana Ottman was astonished by the level of protectiveness and admiration his eyes betrayed as he looked at the younger man. If it hadn't been her job to watch people or kids closely she would have missed the small sigh and the longing that was there as well.

„I'm very sorry, Jimmy, but I have to leave for the partens-teacher conference."

„But you're going to dinner with us, don't you?" Jim sounded really disappointed.

There it was. The perfect excuse to leave the conference early.

„Give me one hour, Jimmy."

The Captain clapped his hands. „Excellent! We'll pick you up at 1940."

Without awaiting another reply the blond turned around shooing Spock out and putting his arm around the Doctor he called Bones. Dana saw Leonard flinch the slightest of moments but than giving in into the touch with a small sigh.

That evening promised to become really interesting, she thought.

**tbc**


	2. Chapter 2

So there's the next chapter. I hope you like it!

It's still part of the birthday present, that's why it's still not looked over, because it's for my lovely beta-reader Lyri. And no, I won't give the job to anyone else. It's not that I don't trust you guys but my darling Lyri just knows what I want to say when I didn't find the right word. We're on the same wavelength.

Enjoy! And leave me a little review.

**2**

Dana was more than happy to leave the conference early. It had been one of the most horrbile meetings she had had in a long while. The mother of one of her more difficult pupils had accused her openly to be too lax with the kids.

That was the moment when Dana Ottman had lost her temper.

She had told the fuming mother that her daughter was a very well mannered and intelligent girl as long as she was occupied, but if the little whizzkid got bored her mind produced the pranks her mother was so overstrained with; so perhaps the mother should worry less about the dresses she would wear at the next champagne reception and more about how her brilliant daughter could feel more loved and encouraged.

It had been quite the outburst and it felt like a relief to once tell this silly cow how Dana felt about her. Unfortunately the mother was married to an ambitious Starfleet diplomat and Dana was sure she would hear of the incident again in very close future.

She opened the door to her office to put down her files when she heard a good-humored whistling, a low ranting about it and a sharp accurate step. So there they were. The infernal trio.

„Hi, Mrs. Ottman! So glad you're really here!" Jim called out.

Dana's eyebrow rose up. „Of course I'm here, Jimmy. I usually keep my words. Why wouldn't I come?"

The young blond grinned sheepishly at her. „Perhaps... dunno... you really didn't want to see me again?" he said and all his grinning couldn't hide the fear of rejection his voice held.

Dana took a step forward. So he was still unsure when he got close to someone. He pretended to be the jackass to keep his heart safe. These two men must really mean a lot to him that he let them see him from his vulnarable side. Mrs. Ottman put her hand at his cheek and kissed him on the other.

„Silly boy." she said and enjoyed the expression in Jim's eyes. He beamed at her.

„So where do we want to go? Does the ‚Riverboat' still exist?"

„This is Riverside in Iowa, Jimmy. Did you forget? Things don't change that fast here. Of course it still exists."

„Great! Let's go there, they make the best burgers you've eaten in your life!"

„As long as we get in..." McCoy grumbled in Jim's direction. „You told me there isn't one place in Riverside you weren't banned from.

„Oh come on, Bones! That was years ago!" the young Captain grinned. „I'm the famous Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise now."

Bones just snorted. „I still wouldn't let you near my establishment if I were them."

For a moment Dana thought to see hurt in Jim's eyes, but he was too good in hiding his real emotions. So the young blond just laughed and said:

„That's why I brought you with me. My highly esteemed first officer to look after me and my very handsome doctor to charm them all."

There it was again. The blush that covered Leonard's cheeks immediately. With astonishment Dana discovered that she wasn't the only one scrutinizing the doctor's reaction. Spock's dark eyes met hers as they watched the interplay between the other two men.

What is your role in that little lovegame, Vulcan boy, Dana thought, because it was obvious that there was some subliminal deeper emotion beneath the surface of friendship Jim and Leonard displayed. Dana just knew it. She had a sixth sense for things like that. It was evident that at least the doctor had more feelings for his friend than he tried to admit, but Dana knew her Jimmy. And even though it seemed there was no difference in his behaviour to Spock or McCoy it was the little things startling her right from the beginning. Jim's hand rested quite often on Bones' arm or the small of his back. It was an unconscious gesture like Jim was trying to assure himself that the other man was still there right beside him.

Dana smiled. There was no need for Jim to check that. It seemed that young McCoy was glued to his side.

They walked along the streets down to the Hall Park where the ‚Riverboat' – it wasn't actually a boat, it just had a mast with a sail in its front garden and was somewhat close to the English River – was. Jim entertained them with stories from his past when they passed certain placed or streets he had a special connection to. Most of those stories contained a drunken Jim and a barfight or a beautiful girl and an angry father, husband or brother.

The Vulcan didn't react to the stories at all, his gaze completely neutral, but on Leonard's handsome face the reluctance was obvious.

„That's not funny, Jim! I don't want to know how many times you've already cheated death. It makes me sick. You could have been killed a hundred times, no a thousand times! YOU don't have to read your medical report... It's a like a horror trip to read that thing. All your allergies, the subsequent damages... You shouldn't be able to walk at all! Just go on like this. Good old Bones will patch you back together... Is that what you think? My ass... I just should let you lie there the next time you got beaten up all over again. You'd deserve it. Who looked after you before you met me, kid?" the good doctor ranted.

„Noone, Bones. You're the first one to stick around long enough to care."

Jim's voice was full of warmth and tenderness. It was enough for Dana to know everything she wanted to know. Jim was just as enarmoured with the handsome doctor as the doctor was with Jim. They both only seemed to be too afraid and too hurt to put one and one together.

„That's why I'm here, kid." McCoy answered and his voice sounded rougher than usual. He ruffled through Jim's blond hair.

„Captain." The Vulcan had stopped walking. Jim turned around and had to blink a few times as if he had forgotten the presence of the young Vulcan.

„What is it, Spock?"

„Captain, with your permission I would like to return to the Enterprise."

Jim looked at him completely baffled. „No way, Spock. We decided to stay at least three days. You need your shoreleave as well."

It was the first time that Dana could see the Captain in the young man who once had been her pupil. His voice had changed marginally but there was a sharper edge to it. Her boy was more than capable of commandig a whole starship.

„Captain, I insist that you let me return to the ship. There are some important things that require my personal attendance. Of course you and the doctor can stay here as planned."

Jim stood there scrutinizing his First Officer. „I don't believe a word, Spock. But ok... you can return to the Enterprise, but I will bring you back to the Riverside space harbour."

„Captain, I'm capable of finding the way on my own."

„Spock."

It was only the commander's name, but Dana decided that it was definite order. The shoulders of the young Vulcan slumped slightly.

„Mrs. Ottman, it was a pleasure to meet you." the Commander inclined his head.

„The pleasure was mine, Commander Spock."

„Mrs. Ottman, would you go accompany Bones to the ‚Riverboat'? I'll be there as fast as I can manage."

„Of course, Jimmy."

„Thank you." he smiled, then turning around to his First Officer while alrady walking away. „And you, Spock, owe me some explanations."

They stood there a few more seconds watching the two men leaving. McCoy sighed in defeat rubbing his temples.

Dana decided to link arms with him and started walking. The tall, young man followed her wordlessly until they reached the restaurant.

„Let's have a seat." Dana smiled and Leonard nodded.

„I'm sorry, Mrs. Ottman, I'm afraid I'm nothing as funny a companion like Jim is."

„No need to apologize. Jim can be very entertaining but very unnerving as well." She laughed.

„Oh hell, yes. He's a man of extremes." McCoy laughed along.

A waitress came along blushing shyly when she took the orders from McCoy, who didn't notice her at all.

„You make quite the impression with the female population." Dana winked and McCoy looked up absentmindedly but without answering.

„So when did you plan on telling him what he means to you?" Dana inquired.

Dr. Leonard McCoy looked at her panicstricken and coughed,

„He knows that he's important to me." he answered cautiously. Dana smiled. He hadn't asked whom she was talking about. Jim seemed to be on the forefront of his mind all the time.

„That isn't what I was talking about, darling. I wanted to know when you tell him that you love him."

The seconds ticked by without any reaction. Leonard just stared at her. She knew she was being hard on him, but she knew as well there was never again the chance to talk to the young man openly. She always had had a soft spot for James Tiberius Kirk and she felt like a mother for him and she was already nuts about the young doctor as well. So why not to push a little bit and help them find their luck?

„Breath, boy, breath." she told Leonard. „Everything's ok."

McCoy sighed deeply. „Is it that obvious?" he asked in a very low voice and Dana could hear his heartbreak in every single word. She reached out and took his hand.

„Darling, I'm a teacher AND a mother. I simply know these things."

„I can't tell him." he said, taking his hand away and closing his eyes.

„Why?"

When he opened his eyes again they were full of unhidden pain. „I couldn't bear a rejection, I couldn't bear losing him!"

Dana made a vow to herself. If she ever met the ex-wife of Dr. Leonard McCoy she would have the outburst of her life. What had that woman done to him?

„Leonard, listen. I know my boy. He would never abandon you. Even if he didn't feel the same for you. He would never ever reject your friendship. You have no idea what a friendship with Jimmy means. He doesn't make friends easily. To be honest you and Spock are the first friends he had in his life." By the mention of the Vulcan McCoy flinched. „You would be a perfect match for him."

„No, I'm not. I'm already a broken man. He's so full of life, he's shining like a sun. I would be the shadow..."

„There is no light without a shadow, darling. And you know exactly that Jimmy has some very dark spots in his life as well. And I believe you're the only one who knows what I'm talking about. You knew him before he went saving Earth."

Leonard nodded. „I don't remember how it happened but we were friends right from the beginning. His energy was overwhelming. I didn't have a thing or a anyone left after my divorce and I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I was too hurt to realize that I had fallen in love with him for a very long time. It was in the moment when he was on Nero's ship and I had to face the possibility of never seeing him again..."

He couldn't go on but his eyes begged for understanding.

„You should tell him, darling. Really."

McCoy looked out of the window his eyes fixing on a man approaching the restaurant quickly.

„He needs someone else. Someone less bitter, less pessimistic."

„Someone like Spock?" Dana tried.

A bitter snort was the answer. „Yes, someone like Spock. Someone more controlled than me."

„Oh darling, you can't be serious. So you think Spock's less broken than you? That guy lost his whole planet."

„I'm older than Jim. He should have someone his age." he tried to argue. Dana just smiled.

„And that decreases your capability of loving him?"

„No, of course not..."

„And, honey, your still much too young a man to have difficulties with making love to him." she winked and enjoyed the sight of the handsome doctor blushing fiercely once again

„You're a very prompt woman, Mrs. Ottman. I see why he likes you."

„It's Dana to you, darling."

„He's allowed to call you Dana?" Jim had arrived at their table with a short stop at the bar and had grabbed the last sentence. He put a beer in front of Leonard and himself. „Why do I have to call you still Mrs. Ottman then? I know you much longer!"

Dana laughed. „Because he's a grownup, sweets, and you're an eleven year old captain with a huge toy-starship."

„Bones! Say something!" Jim whined.

„She's right kid. I'm the adult here. I have to make the decisions."

Jim looked at his companion inquiringly, but McCoy didn't explain further and downed his beer instead. Bones' eyes were searching for Dana's and she smiled at him approvingly. It's overdue that you move on, honey, that ex-wife of yours was a real fool and Jim isn't, she thought.

"So guys, tell me. Where did you two meet? I would never have believed that Jimmy would call a doctor his friend."

James T. Kirk loughed loudly. "He's my friend as long as he has no hyp in his hand. And to the 'where we met'... Bones, why don't you tell her?"

McCoy blushed again and didn't answer so Kirk told Diana. "It was more a 'how we met'. He told me he would probably throw up on me."

Dana looked at the doctor incredously.

"I just don't like flying..."

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

_**I have no time to write at all. But I had to get this out. It's much longer than the chapters before, so I hope you enjoy.**_

_**But I really have to say: poor, Bones!!!**_

_**This is still for you, Lyri! Love you!**_

3

It was 1:30 a.m. and Dana was still sitting at her desk looking over the latest homework she had given to her fifth grade. She yawned and decided to leave the work at her desk and to go to bed when suddenly the doorbell chimed.

A sudden fear gripped her heart. Her daughter Kathryn was still out late, but she never forgot her keycard. Did something happen to her darling?

Dana rushed down the stairs to the front door and pushed the button for the door-hologram. The face of a young man in the school's security uniform appeared on the small platform next to the door and made a very unhappy impression. Was there some trouble with the school? Dana opened the door.

„Stan, what are you doing here?"

The young security officer scratched his head, seemingly not knowing what to say.

„Hi, Mrs. Ottman. Sorry that I have to disturb you so late."

„Did something happen, Stan?"

„I don't know, Mrs Ottman. I was patrolling on the schoolyard like every night when I found this drunken guy strolling around your office."

„A drunken guy around MY office?" Dana couldn't believe her ears.

„Yeah... and when I asked him what he was doing there, he said he had nowhere else to go.

„Do you know him, Stan?"

Stanley Bloomberg shrugged. „Not sure. His face was somehow familiar. I just can't put my finger on it. But he said he knew you. That's why I brought him here."

Dana's eyebrow went up. The young man shifted sheepishly from one foot to the other.

„I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do. He says his name is Leonard. He's sitting in the back of my car."

Dana's heart skipped a beat. Young Stanley couldn't probably talk about Leonard McCoy? Without further questioning she left the flabbergasted Stanley at her doorstep and skeltered to the security car.

When she reached the car her heartbeat stuttered again. The man on the backseat was definitely Dr. Leonard McCoy of the U.S.S. Enterprise, even though it had taken a few more gazes to recognize him. The tall handsome man was gone. Instead a man looking much older than he actually was, was sitting in there. His beard had magically grown stubby over the past few hours, his eyes were closed and rimmed with dark circles. In his hand he held a nearly emptied bottle of whisky.

That was enough for Dana to see. She hit the open button and the door of the car swooshed open.

„Leonard, out there now."

The young doctor looked up needing a few seconds to focus on her face.

„Huh? Oh... hi D-dana..." he mumbled and tried unsuccessfully to get up. Dana took a hold on his arm and yanked the man out of the security car with all her strength. She wasn't petite, not at all, but hell... the young doctor was a tall and muscular, fully grown man. Leonard McCoy nearly tripped and Dana had to put an arm around his waist and his arm around her shoulders to keep him on his feet. She half dragged, half carried the completely drunken Leonard to her frontdoor.

„So you really know him?" Stan asked curiously.

„Yes." she panted. „He's a friend."

„Ok then, Mrs. Ottman. I'll go back to work."

„Stanley?" she called after the security officer.

„Yes, Mrs. Ottman?"

„No word about this, ok? If someone asks: this was a perfectly normal nightshift. Did I make myself clear?"

„Of course, Mrs. Ottman. My lips are sealed. I never left the schoolyard tonight."

„Thank you, Stan."

„Oh, don't thank me, Mrs. Ottman. I'll never forget what you did for my little brother Bob."

Dana smiled warmly at the security officer.

„Good night, Stan."

„Good night, Mrs. Ottman."

The young man leaning on her made a whimpering sound.

„Oh come on, Leonard, don't be a baby. One more step and we're inside."

„Sick..." Leonard slurred.

„Oh, no no no! Hold it togehter just a few more seconds!"

Dana kicked the front door with her foot shut and heaved the tall man to the bathroom that fortunately was located next to the entrance.

Leonard stumbled to the toilet and it took Dana a great effort to prevent him from tripping over his own feet.

The next half an hour she spent at his side with stroking his brown sweaty hair, patting his back and comforting the young doctor with motherly reassurements. After a while Leonard leaned his head against the cool wall.

„I think, I can manage now..."

„Are you sure, darling?"

McCoy nodded and Dana stood up and breathed a sigh of relief.

„I'll be waiting for you in the living room. Just call me if you need any help."

„Thank you..." McCoy's voice was nearly inaudible.

Dana left the bathroom and went to the kitchen to prepare an extra strong coffee that could wake the death for herself and her latest friend. After a few minutes she heard the bathroom door slide open and unstable steps. She took both mugs and put them on the coffeetable in front of the couch.

McCoy appeared with a pale face in the doorframe and didn't dare to look up. Shame was plastered all over his face. Dana patted on the couch next to her.

„I thought you might like a coffee? It's handmade, no replicator junk."

„Sounds good." McCoy took his seat next to her, still staring at his feet.

„So now, darling. Why don't you tell me what happened? When I left you two only six hours ago everything seemed just fine. Why does one of the school security officers pick you up in front of my office like a drunken derilict?"

Leonard studied his shoes now even more intently.

„Ikissedhimandheranaway." the words rushed out.

„What was that?" Dana wasn't sure if she had heard right.

McCoy sighed deeply.

„I kissed him and he ran away."

Dana didn't know if she should laugh, shake her head or get a hysteric fit. She decided to keep her poker face.

„You didn't lose time, did you?"

Leonard shrugged. „I tried to follow your advice."

Dana Ottman couldn't keep a snort from escaping. „Leonard, honey... I said ‚tell him' – not ‚jump his bones without asking'."

„Yeah... should've listened better..." the young man said, finally looking up. There was more despair in the hazel eyes than Dana could bare.

„Oh, sweetheart." She said with a soothing voice. „Why don't you tell me everything that happened after I left you two alone at the ‚Riverboat'?"

„I'm not sure I want to remember."

„Dr. Leonard McCoy. You tell me now. Everything. Mrs. Ottman's order!"

„Yes, Ma'am. You like ordering people around, don't you?"

„I'm a teacher for misbehaving Starfleet kids, you remember?" Dana took his hands to reassure him. „It will help you dealing with it... Believe me."

„I should agree with you, I'm a doctor. But hell – nothing can help my save my fucking ass. I kissed my commanding officer and lost my best friend in the same instant. I'm doomed."

Dana just sqeezed his hand and waited patiently until Leonard McCoy was ready to tell the story.

_They had been drinking a few more beers before Jim suddenly stood up grinning mischievingly._

„_Time for the good stuff."_

‚_Hell yeah', Bones thought, ‚high time for the good AND the strong stuff.' He had to forget that Dana Ottman's words had unsettled him deeply. Declaring his love for Jim – my ass..._

_Bones watched his friend fight his way through the now crowded place to the bar with the grace of a predator. He could see all eyes following the perfectly toned body with that damn fucking perfect ass. Jim's strawblond hair glowed in the dimmed light like pure gold._

‚_That kid's far too beautiful for his own good, and he knows how to use it.' Bones told himself. Still he couldn't help staring at the young Captain who had been his friend for eight years now. _

_Five years had passed since the Narada incident and the discovery of the true nature of his feelings for Jim. But time hadn't helped at all. When he had realized that he had fallen for his best friend, he had hoped that time would help get over with it. Or that it would show that it had been only his hormones because he hadn't been laid for quite a while after his divorce from Jocelyn. Or that he had felt lonely without his family, without his sweet daughter Joanna – oh, how he still missed his little girl . But time had proved that none of it was the actual trigger. No, he simply had fallen in love._

_Of course he had been flirting with beautiful women, he even had had a love affair or two in the past few years. And he had found himself new friends and family among the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise. But nothing had stilled his longing for a certain James T. Kirk. It seemed time had even deepened his love for the young Captain. Every time the Captain got himself into trouble – and hell , that happened on a nearly daily basis – Bones got more anxious, that this time he wouldn't see him again, that Jim was finally taken away from him._

_It was simply fucking frustrating. Sometimes he had the impression some higher force thought his life to be a big joke for the purpose of pure entertainment: Let's see how much more pain Leonard H. McCoy is able to bare before he breaks._

_Leonard chuckled to himself bitterly._

„_I accept the dare." He said aloud and raised his glass to greet the unvisible force, that was was trying so successfully to make his life a living hell._

„_What dare? Whom are you betting with?" Jim had returned with a whole bottle of Bourbon and two glasses in his hand._

„_My fate."_

_Jim laughed heartily. „I knew you'd come around someday. That's the essence of my life: betting with fate itself. Life doesn't get boring with a little wager."_

„_Boring? Life's never boring if you're friends with one James T. Kirk" Leonard replied._

„_Thanks." Jim's voice was pretty smug._

_Bones looked up and stopped breathing. The deep blue eyes of his friends and Captain glinted with mischief and there was pure joy and energy radiating from his facial expression. Leonard felt a shudder go down his spine and he coudln't resist drowning in these heavenlike orbs. Jim seemed to consist of pulsing energy._

_Bones knew, that that fire could be all consuming and destroying. He had seen the fury overtake the young Captain. He had felt the wild animal inside Jim's soul roaring and baring ist teeth. Jim had no problems using this wild energy if it was needed. But for Bones Jim's fire seemed to burn with a tamed flame. The sometimes uncontrolled energy recharged Leonard's batteries instead. Being near Jim ment to feel alive again._

_Oh, how he lusted for touching that flame; how he wanted that energy to pulse through him like a lightning; how he longed to nourish that warming fire, care for it, make sure it would burn forever..._

_Suddenly he realized that a hand was waved in front of his face._

„_Bones? You still in there?"_

_Leonard blinked a few times and then took a long sip from his whisky as if nothing had happened._

„_Can't a man be quiet for a few moments?" he grunted._

„_Helllo? A few moments? You didn't react at all. Just staring at me, not breathing anymore. You zoned out completely, Doctor. I thought you had a heartattack or something like that."_

_He had to be more careful, Bones decided, the kid wasn't a fool._

„_So did you see any familiar faces so far?" Bones tried to change the topic._

„_Nah, only Mrs. Ottman. She's a cool lady, isn't she?"_

„_Yeah, she's fun. And seems to be one of the rare people you listen to."_

_Jim nodded. „She's one of the things I like to remember when I'm thinking back of my childhood. And believe me, Bones, there aren't many pleasent memories."_

_Jim hated talking about his past, but they were sitting right within his past, at least geographically, so it was only logical that memories came up right now. Bones snorted. Had he really thought the word ‚logical'? Spock would have triumphed. Oh no, he wasn't logical. He was grumpy Dr. McCoy and it was his right to be anything but logical! At least in his spare time. _

_Bones poured himself another drink. The warmth of the whisky started to push the pain away. He emptied his glass swiftly and refilled it right away. Perhaps time didn't help to overcome his crush on Jim, but alcohol sure as hell made the cliff he was standing on seem less higher. Jim... Bones realized with astonishment that Jim had started to talk. Jim Kirk was more talking to himself than to Bones, so he hadn't realized that McCoy hadn't been listening again._

„_... it's not that I was angry with her. No, not at all. We were too distant for that. But Sam had been really pissed. He thought it was because of my behaviour that Mom had banned us from the planet. But you have no idea how happy I had been to get away from Frank. Of course now I would say that Frank had been a real sweetie pie compared to..."_

_Jim stopped midsentence and Bones took his chance to ask._

„_You haven't been here in Riverside all of your life?" Jim had never mentioned anything like that before._

„_No. I've been thirteen when Sam and I left Earth to live in the colony with my aunt and uncle."_

_It was only a feeling, but Bones knew something was totally fucking wrong._

„_Which colony?"_

_Jim kept silent and it was only an unconscious need that made Bones reach out and lifting Jim's chin with his finger, preying the blond to look up. The usually clear blue eyes were filled with dark clouds and it was the first time that Bones saw something like fear hidden deeply within James Tiberius Kirk._

„_Which colony, Jim?" Leonard McCoy urged Jim to answer._

_It was a mere whisper._

„_Tarsus IV."_

„_What the...?" For the first time in his life Bones had even run out of swearwords._

_Bones had heard the news from the colony when he still had been a country doctor as a young man. It had made him sick._

_Jim had been on Tarsus IV, when he was a teenager? The colony, that had run out of food because of an exotic fungus that had a huge crop failure as a result? The colony with the insane Governor Kodos who had turned out to be a mass murderer, because he decided to kill half of the population to ensure the survival of the other half? Only with the nice little twist that the power hungry Kodos chose who would live and who would die. And his Jim had been on this planet?_

„_You never told me." Bones stated matter of factly. „Why?"_

_Jim sighed deeply. „There were only nine survivors of the massacre who could identify that bastard Kodos. There names are kept a high priority secret."_

„_Don't tell me, you are one of those nine..." Bones begged Jim. „Don't tell me you had to witness the whole thing when you were only thirteen, damn it, Jim!"_

_The pure thought of a small boy with blond hair, piercing blue eyes and a crooked smile and then this unimaginable horror steamrolling him... It took Bones all of his will power not to jump up and to hug the young man sitting before him -- to hug and to keep him safe in his arms, so that nothing could ever hurt him again. But the only thing he did, was to reach out for Jim's hand and to squeeze it. For a few blinks he stared at his fingers touching the warm and strong hand of Jim before he drew away and downed his whisky instead._

_There wasn't much spoken afterwards. There were no words for comfort or any shit like that. The presence of the other was enough. At least it was enough for Bones. They both had their own thoughts and drinks, even if it seemed that Jim had lost his appetite for „the good stuff". Well, Bones hadn't... in fact he had never been this thirsty in his whole life. The world had started already spinning when the kid stood up._

„_Come on, Bones. Time to get you to bed..."_

„_And you call ME the mother hen." Bones grunted, his words already coming a little bit slowly. He got a dashing smile from Jim._

„_Someone has to look after you, as well, Bones. So let's say I'm the nurse and enjoy helping the good Doctor." Jim's voice was full of soft laughter and if it hadn't been McCoy the words were directed at, Bones could have sworn that Jim was flirting._

„_So, nurse Kirk... What do yo wear under your lab coat?" The words were out before Leonard could stop himself. He blushed fiercely, but Jim only laughed heartily and bowed down to Bones' ear, whispering with a husky voice. „I think you have to examine me thoroughly to find out, doctor."_

_Bones got up in a trance and followed the young Starfleet Captain out of the bar. Jim cast him teasing looks back over his shoulder. Leonard could only hear his heartbeat drum and his blood rushing through his veins. How had it happened that he felt like the newest prey of James T. Kirk? Jim couldn't probably be flirting with him in earnest._

‚_It's just one of Jim's strange games, Leonard.' He tried to calm himself. ‚He needs to forget the memories about Tarsus IV. So he's using you as a catalyst.' His mind told his body. But his body was burning with something like a fever and didn't listen at all. So his alcohol numbed mind gave in as well. ‚Oh fuck off. I LOVE being used.'_

_They reached the door and Jim took hold of his arm pulling him outside. The cool night air hit Bones and brought enough coherent thought back to his brain to at least avoid bumping into Jim who had stopped midway. The beautiful young man was staring into the stars._

„_So much beauty, so much violence and so many adventures are out there, Bones. And from down here the stars are only sparkling dots in the sky."_

„_Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky..." Bones recited the lyrics of the lullaby he had sung to Joanna when she had been a toddler. She had loved it. Who would have thought then, that her daddy would very soon be there exploring those diamonds without his little girl._

_Jim must have sensed that something was wrong. His hand gripped Bones' arm and his voice was soothing._

„_Bones, let's forget the past now, ok? We both don't like to think about it, so let's think about the future."_

_McCoy could feel Jim's breath caressing the skin of his cheek. When had Jim come so close? His closeness was intoxicating. He smelled the musky scent of his best friend radiating from him and mingled with a hint of wheatfields in the summer breeze. The sweet smile on Jim's face was breathtaking and the blue eyes full of trust. Dana Ottman was right. He had to talk to Jim. There was no way he could hide his love anymore. Hell, it was obvious to everyone who took a closer look that his body wasn't able to suppress the desire anymore. A traitorous tension in his groin longed for more. But first he had to make sure..._

„_Jim, why did you tell me today?" his voice was hoarse and deeper than usually. The blue eyes of his counterpart bored into his gaze._

„_I needed someone to know, Bones. I need someone to keep me sane."_

„_Why me, Jim?" Leonard asked breathlessly._

„_Bones... don't you know? I trust you with my life."_

_Bones heartbeat doubled ist speed. „Perhaps you shouldn't Jim. Don't trust me. Hell... I even don't trust myself right now."_

_With astonishment he felt Jim's hand cupping his cheek. „What are you talking about, Bones? Of course I trust you! You and Spock, you're the only one..."_

_Spock... A bitter laugh escaped Bones. Of course that hadn't been only about him. There was always Spock taking more and more of Jim away from him. The alcohol and the anger burned through his veins. He grabbed Jim's shoulders hard and pushed the man back at a tree that stood only a few feet away. Jim stared at him, shock plainly written over his face because of the sudden change in McCoy's mood. But Bones couldn't see the confusion in Jim's eyes. The anger flaring through him made him blind._

„_So does he know as well?" he pressed thorugh clenched teeth._

„_What? Who? Bones, what's the matter?"_

„_Does Spock know of Tarsus IV?"_

„_Yes... of course he does. He's my first officer, he needs to know things like that."_

_The beast inside Bones was roaring._

„_So was it his idea to tell me? The good doctor should know about things like that?"_

_Jim tried to fight Bones off. But for once McCoy was stronger. The rage gave him strength. He grabbed Jim's wrists, yanking them high over the head of the other man, pressing him down with his bodyweight._

„_Bones? What are you talking about? Spock had nothing to do with it... I told you because I wanted to. Because you know me, you understand me. You're so much more to me than a doctor or even a friend."_

„_More than a friend? What am I to you, James Tiberius Kirk? You think you know me, Jim? You have no idea who I really am. You have no idea what I long for. You have no idea what I want to do."_

_The confusion in Jim's eyes gave way to something like fear. „Bones, what are you talking about? Let go!"_

„_No, Jim. I won't. You've been such a tease over all those years. Didn't you see what you were doing to me?"_

„_Bones..." Jim's voice was begging but McCoy wasn't listening anymore. He had to spit it out, now or never._

„_Or did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy to see me suffer?"_

„_Bones, I never wanted you to suffer. Let me go, now."_

_Bones shaked his had fiercely and pressed himself closer to James T. Kirk. „I can't, Jim. You asked for it."_

„_No, Bones, no. Don't. That is wrong. You're upset and drunken." Jim was pleading, the fear now obvious in his voice._

„_First you say you trust me, now you fear me?"_

„_Bones, wait, let's talk, I'll explain..."_

„_Too late, Jim." Bones mumbled his lips only inches away from Jim's_

‚_One kiss, only one kiss and I'll die happily for you. Just kiss me once, Jim.' His inner voice overtook all of his thinking._

_Bones covered the distance between their lips. Jim's lips were full and warm and tasted of honey and.. they were not responding. That was the time when Bones' mind decided to work again._

_He stumbled back immediately and let go of Jim's wrists. For a few moments they stared at each other in pure shock, before Jim turned around wordlessly and ran away._

_Bones wanted to call after him but his voice failed. He collapsed to his knees staring at the grass. After a while he realized that tears were dropping from his eyes. He couldn't remember when he had cried the last time._

„_What have I done?" he whispered „Forgive me, Jim. Oh, please, forgive me."_

Dana looked at the young doctor after he had finished his story. Pain and shame pulling down his shoulders with their weight.

„Oh, darling." Was all she managed to say and pulled Leonard into her arms. She felt his body shiver and convulsing with hurt. „It's okay, baby. It's okay."


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm soooo sorry for the delay! But life was really kicking my butt and I just had no time to write. This chapter was originally meant to be at least twice this long, but I decided to split it into two, so you don't have to wait any longer. _

_Lyri, sweetheart! My biggest apologies for not talking, writing and reviewing to you in the last weeks! I hope this one helps to calm you. Love you so much!_

4

They were sitting in silence, sipping their coffee, when Dana heard the front door open.

„Mom? Are you still awake? The lights are on!"

„That's my daughter." Dana told Leonard.

„We're in the living room!" she called.

A few seconds later her daughter Kathryn entered the room. Dana smiled. It seemed that Katie had had a nice evening. Her cheeks were flushed, the long light brown hair flowing around her beautiful face. Mrs. Ottman had to remind herself, that that beautiful young woman there was really her sweet little girl. How had time gone by so quickly?

„Who is we?" Katie asked before realizing the young doctor sitting next to Dana. Her eyes grew wide.

„Is that... are you really...?" she stammered. Dana had to suppress her laughter.

„Katie sweetheart, may I introduce you to Dr. Leonard McCoy of the U.S.S. Enterprise? Leonard, that's my daughter Kathryn."

Leonard stood up, his legs still a bit wobbly. He extended his hand and forced a friendly smile.

„Hello, Kathryn. I'm Leonard."

„Uhm... hi, I'm Katie." Kathryn shook his hand. „I don't want to offend you – not at all... but what are you doing here with my **mother**?"

Dana laughed. „Thank you, darling. But believe it or not, your old mother enjoys to be in company of handsome young men."

Now both - Leonard and Katie - blushed. Dana enjoyed the view. Sometimes it had definitely advantages to be the old and grumpy one. The youth was to be emberassed so easily.

„Mom!" Katie complained and Leonard coughed awkwardly.

„No offense taken, Kathryn. I'd ask the same. I just dropped by, because..." he fell into silence.

„He thought that Jimmy might be here. They kind of lost each other here in Riverside." Dana helped out and earned a grateful smile from the young doctor.

„Jimmy?" Katie asked, then it dawned to her. „Jimmy? Your Jimmy? As James T. Kirk? He's here as well?"

Dana nodded and smiled. „He's here at Riverside, yes. But unfortunately not here with us right now. Leonard is looking for him. You didn't happen to see him anywhere?"

Katie giggled. „No, mom, believe me. If I had met THE James T. Kirk tonight, it would have been the first thing I had shouted, when I opened the door."

Dana smiled. Katie had had a crush on James T. Kirk a few years ago like every teenage girl that had ever seen a picture of the handsome young hero.

„Well, that's a pity." Dana sighed. „Katie, sweets, would you be so nice, to show our guest the guestroom, please? I think we should all go to bed, now. It is reallly late."

„No, Dana, please don't put yourself out on my account, I'll leave..."

Dana smacked the young man on his shoulder. „No way, darling! Up you go!"

„Better not object, Leonard. I know what I'm talking about." Katie half whispered, smiling at her mother.

Dana winked at her beautiful daughter. "At least you seem to remember it sometimes, sweetie."

After Leonard had followed Katie out of the room, Dana sat down with a sigh and rubbed her face. The story the young doctor had told her was sort of weird. She could have sworn that Jim reciprocated Leonard's feelings. She just knew it. But why for heaven's sake did he react like that when Leonard had kissed him? What was James T. Kirk afraid of?

The beeping and the red flash of her home's comm-system told her that someone was trying to call her. With a sigh she got up. It seemed nobody was asleep in this night.

"Answer call." she ordered the home-comm.

"This is a video-call from a public communication station. Do you want to allow visual contact?"

Dana looked down at herself. She was fully dressed.

"Allow." She said and stepped in front of the camera.

Before she could see anything she heard a panicked voice from the comm. "Mrs. Ottman? Is that you?"

"Jimmy?" Dana asked, recognizing the voice before the visual transfer was completed. Only seconds later the screen showed the matching face plastered with a pained expression. Dana's heart immediately reached out for the obviously desperate Jim.

"Mrs. Ottman! I'm so sorry to wake you up! But I don't know what to do anymore! I can't find him! I've been looking everywhere for him. But he is gone! I even tried to locate him with the ship's help, but his communicator was lying in the grass in front of the 'Riverboat'! He must have thrown it away! He wasn't there anymore… "

"Jimmy." Dana tried to cut in, but the young man didn't listen, his voice sounding even more anxious now.

"What if something happened to him? I couldn't bare… Oh, Mrs. Ottman, I lost him."

The last sentence was whispered in defeat and with his eyes cast down and Dana was sure it was meant in more than one way.

"Jimmy. You didn't lose him. You just found him."

It took a few moments until James T. Kirk had processed the information. His eyes gleamed with hope as he looked up again.

"What does that mean, Mrs. Ottman?"

"Leonard is here at my place."

The grin that spread across the handsome face of the young Captain was pure relief. Dana smiled knowingly.

"At least I assume that 'he' is your precious Doctor you were rambling about?"

"You're the best, Mrs. Ottman! Give me ten minutes!"

With that, the face in front of the public comm disappeared and the sight of the busy space harbour greeted Dana. Jim hadn't even cared about shutting the connection down, he just had rushed away. Dana shook her head about the hotheaded young man. It was at least 20 minutes with a car to her place and Jim didn't even know where she lived.

9 and a half minutes later she heard the breaks of a motorbike screeching in front of her house and not a second later feet hurrying towards her doorstep. She opened the door before Jim could ring the bell.

"Hey, Jimmy." she said but the young man tried to get past her without a response.

"Where is he?" he asked his eyes searching for the Doctor restlessly.

Dana grabbed his arm. "Stop, Jimmy!"

"He's still here, isn't he? I drove as fast as I could!" Jim tried to free his arm.

"Yes, that wasn't hard to notice." Dana said cynically. "Where the hell did you get that bike from anyway?"

"What?" The boy still didn't listen.

"You didn't steal it, Jimmy!" Dana had a really bad feeling. He shrugged half-heartedly.

"Kind of borrowed it, I guess."

"You guess…" Dana rolled her eyes.

"Yeah... I yelled after the guy that I'd bring it back in a few hours. Hope he heard me…" Jim mumbled his brow now carved with additional worry lines. For the first time he seemed to recognize Dana.

"Where is Bones, Mrs. Ottman? I need to talk to him."

"Yes, I know, baby. Leonard is upstairs…"

Jim tried to freee himself again, but Dana didn't losen her grip.

"… and asleep. And he needs a rest. He had a really shitty night. You can talk to him later."

The young blond's shoulders slumped. "It's all my fault." he sighed with despair evident in his voice.

"Oh boys - no one would guess that you're the commanding crew of a starship. Saving whole planets, but not capable of handling their own lives. Come on, honey, let's have a coffee… again."

She led the Captain of th U.S.S. Enterprise to her living room and the couch where not an hour ago Leonard McCoy had been sitting.

With a soft push she urged the restless young man to sit down. She hoped that Jimmy had enough sense to keep his feet still. Fortunately he was still in the same place when Dana returned with another two cups of coffee. At least she could once again enjoy the sunrise with all that caffeine running through her systems.

"Is he ok, Mrs. Ottman?" Jim asked anxiously, his usually deep blue eyes reminding her of a stormy steelgrey ocean.

Dana sighed. "I would lie to you, Jimmy, if I said, that he had been in a good shape, when the security officer dropped him off here."

Jim spitted the coffee he had tried to drink back into the mug when Dana mentioned the appearance of Stanley Bloomberg this night.

"Security officer? How? Why? He didn't get himself into real trouble!"

Dana smiled at the panicstricken James T. Kirk. "Nono, everything's ok, honey. Let's say Leonard had a little drink or two in the schoolyard when a young security man picked him up and gave him a ride to my place. The kid Stan is an old friend of mine and won't say a word about tonight's events."

Jim released the breath he must have been holding. "It's all my fault, Mrs. Ottman."

"Ah, sweetheart. It's always two with matters of love."

"How much did he tell you?"

"Enough, I think. Something about a kiss and a kind of misunderstanding?" Dana offered.

Jim snorted, but there was no amusement in his voice. "A kind of misunderstanding… Yes, you could call it a kind of galaxy-consuming misunderstanding."

Dana decided to put her cards on the table. "Jimmy, what I don't understand in this whole affair… I had the strongest impression a few hours ago that you wouldn't object at all if Leonard tried to kiss you. I would even have betted my ass that you have romantic feelings for your handsome doctor."

Jim sighed deeply and rubbed his temple.

"Romantic feelings… You have no idea, Mrs. Ottman."

When he looked up at her, Dana was reminded of the young and very lonely, misunderstood, small whizz kid James Kirk once had been, who had struggled so very hard to trust any other being. It had been a miracle that Mrs. Ottman - Jim's class teacher back then - had gotten through to him. And once again she was very thankful for the special connection they shared. She squeezed his hands in hers and he gave her a very small smile.

"I love him, Mrs. Ottman." It was a mere whisper.

"Oh baby." Dana sighed. "But then I really don't understand."

Jim Kirk gave her a cynical smirk. "It's his fault."

"Leonard's?" Now Dana Ottman was more than irritated.

"No. Frank's."

It took Dana a while to get the meaning.

_And to all you others out there: A review is the best motivation for an overstressed workaholic like me to get my ass back to writing a new chapter for you. So don't hesitate to press the button!_


	5. Chapter 5

**It has been years. And I don't know how to apologize. Let's just say life took a complete hold on me and my mind was too busy to focus on my stories. But last night I felt the urge to take a break. And there it was. The need to write.**

**I hope some of my readers are still out there. And I hope you enjoy.**

**5**

Dana knew whenever Frank was part of a story Jimmy had to tell there was no happy ending to it. It was a clear understatement to call the relationship between Jim Kirk and his stepfather troubled. More than once she had witnessed the detestation that had simmered between them right from the start.

"What has your stepfather to do with Leonard?" she asked cautiously.

Jim laughed bitterly. "Don't call him that. Frank was everything but any kind of father."

James T. Kirk stared at his coffee and took a long sip before he continued.

"You remember the day when I drove his car over the cliff?"

"How could I forget that, Jimmy. You nearly killed yourself!"

After all those years it still gave Dana the creeps to think about that incident. Jimmy had been something around 12 when the police had called her and asked her to pick the youngster up at the policestation. They had tried to deliver the young wrongdoer at his home, but nobody had been there. The mother was offplanet and the stepfather couldn't be found anywhere. So Dana had been called as a substitute. She nearly had freaked out and had been really angry at the defiant kid who had refused to explain his actions. She had brought him back home where Frank had returned to after all. Dana Ottman remembered the discussion with Frank as well. The man hadn't cared at all for the bruised boy and after a short time it was quite obvious that Frank hadn't been looking for his stepson like a good parent would have done when he was away at the evening, but had been searching for his precious car. When Dana had asked him what had happened before that idiotic scheme that nearly had costed the boy's life – she simply had known there was a reason why Jimmy had been crushing the car, he was far too intelligent to do anything just out of simple stupidity – the man had just slammed the door shut right in her face without any explanation. Dana still regretted more than anything else in her life that she hadn't taken the boy with her that night. She should have found a way to keep him with her. Some mistakes in life you couldn't forgive yourself. Jimmy had needed her, had trusted her and she had done nothing to keep him safe. Of course at the time being she had believed that the boy should stay with that little bit of family that was left. But only a few days later she had realized that there hadn't been any family for little James T. Kirk to stay with.

She could have been the mother the boy needed so much. She had been such a coward. And it pained Dana to her core… now that she knew –thanks to Leonard- what the young man already had endured in his short life. Tarsus IV…

Jimmy had never returned to school and only two days later she had been officially informed that James Tiberius Kirk had left Earth to live with relatives in a far away colony. She hadn't had any chance to say goodbye. Only years later Jimmy had returned to Riverside and nothing reminded her of the sweet, innocent boy he once had been. James T. Kirk had come back as a distant young man who threw himself at alcohol and any barfight he could find. But someday he had shown up at the school and Dana had hugged him wordlessly. The young man had clung to her as if his life had depended on it and then left again without any word. After that he had shown up frequently and Dana discovered more and more of the brilliant and sweet kid that had survived whatever had happened to Jimmy in the meantime.

It all made sense now and Dana couldn't help but admire the inner strength of the young Captain.

James T. Kirk had been hurt but not broken by that horrible experience.

"Do you want to tell me what happened back then?"

Jim nodded.

"Frank loved that damned Corvette, so I knew it would really drive him mad when anything happened to it. And I needed so badly to hurt him…"

_Jim chewed on the pencil and stared at the blank screen. He really was interested in anything that had to do with any kind of science: astrophysics, maths, biology, even economics, though most of these subjects were far too advanced for a not yet 13-year-old, but he loved challenges. It made him feel smug and self-satisfied when he had solved a problem that he shouldn't have been able to solve. He loved not only to try but to exceed his limits. The problem was that the satisfaction didn't last long. The next day – or only hours later – his mind was already searching for a new challenge. But this - he directed an angry glare at the touch-sensitive screen – this made him sick. He hated arts. It was the only subject he thought to be completely useless. At least for him! Someday he wanted to be a famous scientist, or an ingenious engineer, or the Captain of a starship and he couldn't come up with one sensible reason why drawing pretty pictures would help him at all with his goals._

_A soft hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up with a frown evident on his face. He met the smiling eyes of his favourite teacher Mrs. Ottman. The words contrasted her friendly eyes: "So, Mr. Kirk. What keeps you from doing the same as the rest of the class? Is there something wrong with the fruits?" She pointed to the fruits he was supposed to draw as a still life._

"_That's the problem, Mrs. Ottman. There's nothing wrong at all." he countered and saw the twinkle in the eyes of his teacher. It was their special way of communicating, an unspoken pact between them._

"_Would you care to explain, Jim?"_

"_The fruits are perfect. They look delicious! I get hungry staring at them! I can't concentrate when I'm hungry! How am I supposed to draw them, when I can't look at them?"_

_The corner of Mrs. Ottman's mouth twitched. "I suppose you should use your exceptional mind you're so proud of and find a solution for the problem."_

_Jimmy grinned. Mrs. Ottman knew exactly that he couldn't resist a good challenge. And he would prove to her that he would solve the problem of his lacking talent for painting._

_He took one of the apples from the plate and took a huge bite. Mrs. Ottman lifted her brow but left the incident uncommented._

"_Ok, kids. You have 10 more minutes left before I'll collect your works."_

_Jimmy still enjoyed the rest of the banana he had taken after the apple when Mrs. Ottman came to his desk again a few minutes later. He handed her his tablet, only a single circle in the middle of the screen._

"_Is this all, Jim?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I see. And what's the title of this glorious Picasso-like painting?"_

_Jimmy grinned mischievously. "It's called: A hungry man's fruitplate."_

_Mrs. Ottman couldn't suppress her laughter. "Get out here, boy, before I decide that you should redo this practice until you had enough fruits for your whole life."_

_James T. Kirk smirked, grabbed his schoolbag and ran outside. The sun was burning and the heat was nearly unbearable. Noone else was seen in the torridity and Jim felt immediately the sweat starting to soak his shirt. But he had no intentions to run home to the cooling surroundings of his home like anyone else would do. 'His home'… the thought of the phrase made him snort cynically and he kicked a small stone lying in his way away. A dusty cloud engulfed him. _

_His mother's house hadn't been a home for at least 3 years now. It had stopped being 'home' when his mother had married Frank. Frank had been really nice at the beginning, but when he had moved in things had started changing. Mom was off-planet really often. It was because of her job as a scientist, but sometimes Jim had the feeling it was because of him. That Mom couldn't stand looking at him. That everytime she loked at him she was remembered of the things she had lost. That things would have been different when she hadn't given birth to Jim that one portentous day. _

_Jim had been glad when Frank had stepped into their life. Frank had made Mom smile. Something Jim never succeded in. So Jimmy had been more than willing to overlook those strange habits Frank had shown right from the start. It hadn't mattered that Frank came home late when Mom wasn't at home, it hadn't mattered that Frank smelled of alcohol sometimes. And Jim hadn't expected Frank to answer all those questions Jimmy always had had. It was okay. As long as Mom smiled. They even found a topic to talk about: cars. _

_Frank loved ancient cars and James T. Kirk was curious about the mechanical aspects. But then mom and Frank had married. And that was when Frank started to change. What has been Jimmy's and Mom's stuff before was now his. And only Frank's. He decided to throw things away Jim cared of. To make room for Frank's stuff. Jimmy wasn't given a chance to keep something for himself._

_The first time Frank had hit him had been when his stepfather had decided to _clean_ Sam's room. Frank had wanted Sam's room for his poker-games with his friends where they smoked and drank and were barking of laughter. But even more often they all ended up at each others throats. Jimmy had been furious. That was Sam's room, his big brother's room. Even though Sam had already left a long time ago to visit an off-planet school closer to his mother's research-station (Jimmy had never understood why he had to stay at home when his big brother and his mother were both off-planet, but Mom had said he was still too young to leave his home. But shouldn't home have been there where his family was?), it still made Jimmy feel a bit better, that Sam's room was just next door to his. If he felt lonely he could just go to the other room and feel the presence of his older brother. He missed him so much. And now Frank wanted to destroy this last shelter, the connection to his brother as well. Jimmy had stormed to the room and locked it from inside. It had taken Frank some time and energy and an awful lot of threats to break through the door. Jimmy had never been hitten before and Frank hadn't been cautious at all. Inspite of all the drinking and gambling Frank was a well trained huge man who loved a good fight with his fists. Jim had thought he would die, but Frank had known exactly the bodyparts that hurt most with each blow but wouldn't do permanent damage. Frank had called it 'teaching him a lesson'. And James T. Kirk had learned his lesson in the upcoming months and years very well._

_He learned to duck his head in the right moment, not to be only quick but quicker than anyone else and he learned that there was nothing on the world he could do to avoid the beatings. He had tried to be nice and sweet to Frank, he had tried to sneak in and out of the house without Frank noticing and he succeeded quite a while. But someday his _loving _stepfather would catch him and the blows were harder than ever before. So Jimmy decided it was better to confront Frank on a regular basis and to get over with those incidents. He swore to himself that one day, when he was stronger and a grown up, that Frank would pay for this._

_But James T. Kirk knew that he had to wait for his revenge. That he had to endure this ordeal for now. And so he blocked the unpleasant memories and decided after some time in the burning sun, that he should return home. Perhaps Frank hadn't noticed his absence yet and he could use his time in the coolness of the home to continue reading that book about astrophysics for advanced learners that Mrs. Ottman had given him with a sigh and a smile a few days ago. Frank had been surprisingly calm in the last days - just staring at James in a very odd way that gave Jimmy a really uncomfortable feeling. But it was better than being beaten up, wasn't it?_

_When Jimmy opened the front door he knew instantly that something was completely wrong. The whole house reeked of alcohol. There were strange sounds like a woman whimpering coming from the living room. His instincts told him to run away, to flee, but he had to know what was happening in his mother's house..._

The young captain suddenly stopped with his story and his eyes became distant and cold. It was the moment that Dana Ottman realized that they weren't alone anymore. Her eyes flashed to the staircase to the upper floor and she saw Leonard standing there his hands clawed around the banister as if his life depended on it. His face was white as a sheet and he gave the impression of throwing up in any moment. Dana and the young doctor shared a quick look and his eyes pleaded her not to tell Jim of his presence. They both seemed to know that Jim had to continue with his story, had to pour out his heart. So Dana complied with the unspoken plea of the doctor.

Mrs. Ottman took Jim's hands between her own. "What happened then, Jimmy?" she asked in a soothing voice.

Jim looked up and his eyes were full of hurt and it wasn't the Captain of a Federation starship sitting vis-à-vis to her, it was the twelve year old boy Dana once had known and loved so much. His voice was low and nearly inaudible when he continued.

_Jim opened the door to the livingroom silently, but what he saw made him fuming with anger. There he was... Frank. Pants down to his knees, surrounded by empty bottles of beer and booze and in front of him on the table lay a woman, half naked, a skirt shoved up to her hips with her legs wide spread. Jim might have been a youngster at this time, but he knew exactly what was happening in front of him. Frank fucked that foreign woman in his wife's - Mommy's house, on HER dining table to a time when HER son was supposed to be at home! Jim couldn't think straight anymore. He rushed forward with a yell and crushed his shoulder with all his might in Frank's side and made the grown man toppling over. The woman screeched and Frank swore but reacted surprisingly fast. His huge hands caught the drumming fists of little Jimmy and tied them with a swift turn of his arms at Jim's backside._

_"What do you think you're doing, boy!" Frank yelled at Jimmy. The boy couldn't answer but was convulsed with pain because of the strange angle his arms were held in. The woman had stopped screeching and had stood up from her compromising position._

_"Franky. It's just a boy. Let him go." Her voice slurred a bit and Jim noticed through his pain, that she was drunk as well._

_Frank snorted. "You don't know this little shit. He's a troublemaker."_

_The woman knelt down in front of Jimmy and reached out to touch his cheek. "What a pretty young man you are." Jim tried to turn away from the touch. "How old are you, cutie?"_

_Jim pressed his lips together, but Frank twisted his wrist in an even more painful way. "Answer her, James."_

_"Twelve." he pressed through gritted teeth, trying to hold back his tears._

_"Twelve years and already so beautiful. Everyone is going to adore you when you're a grown up, sweetie."_

_Her hand wandered from his cheeck to his chest. "And you're trained as well. Just like your father."_

_"He's not my father!"_

_"Let me take a look." the woman ignored his comment and lifted his shirt. James started struggling._

_"Enough." Frank roared. "Out with you!"_

_"But Franky!" the woman whined._

_"I said out!"_

_Without any further comment the woman stood up, grabbed her things and left. "Asshole!" she mumbled and banged the door shut._

_Jimmy stood there, his heart beating like a drum. Had Frank really saved him from that awful woman? "Thank... you." he said hesitantly._

_But Frank didn't answer nor did he loosen his grip around Jim's wrists. Instead he shoved Jim against the wall and yanked the boy's hands high over his head, pinning them against the wall with a iron like grip. Frank's alcohol stinking breath reached Jim's throat and the need to flee began to overwhelm the young boy. With panic Jim noticed that Frank had still his pants down and that he was still aroused._

_"Don't thank me boy. I just don't like to share..."_

_"What? Frank! Let me go, please! I'll do everything you ask me to, but please let me go!" It was the first time in his life that Jim was really afraid of what was going to happen. The first time he felt completely mightless._

_"Don't ask for it, boy. You have no idea what I long for."_

In this very moment Dana heard a sharp intake of breath coming from the young doctor upstairs. She knew that Leonard had as well recognized the exact words he had said to James in a very similar but completely different situation.

„_Please, Frank, please!"_

_"She's right, you know? You really are a beautiful, boy."_

_And that was the moment when Jim felt Frank's hand fumbling at his belt._

Silence took over, when Jim finished his story. "I can't remember anything else. Or I don't want to..."

Dana kept all her thoughts of repression of traumatic childhood memories to herself and tried to grasp what Jimmy had told her.

"Is that why you drove that Corvette over the cliff?" she asked, too afraid to ask, if he only wanted to destroy the car or himself as well.

"I had to pay him back somehow, didn't I? So I destroyed what he loved most." A faint smile covered his lips.

Without a single thought Dana crushed the Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise to her chest and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Jimmy. I should have known! Can you ever forgive me? Why didn't you tell me, darling? I would have protected you! I would have done everything in my might to keep you safe from this perverted asshole!"

"I know, Mrs. Ottman. There is nothing to forgive." Jimmy smiled. "It felt like it was my and only my fight. I was twelve and life had taught me so far that I would only survive, if I tried to win my fights."

"Oh baby." Dana sighed and pressed a kiss to Jim's forehead.

"But this time I've lost." The hurt returned to the young captain's eyes. "I've lost the only one in the universe I do not only trust with my life but with my heart. The only one who stood always at my side right from the first moment we met. Just because my past took hold of me for a single moment. I wasn't strong enough."

"I don't think so, Jimmy." Dana smiled lovingly. "Just turn around."

An irrational hope seemed to overtake the young man and he whirled around in a flash his eyes searching and finding whom he had been looking for the whole desperate night.

"Bones!"

"I never left, you complete fool." the young doctor said and his voice was rough and near breaking.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I'm so happy to write again. And I'm more than happy that there are still some of my readers out there.**_

_**Enjoy the new chapter!**_

6

It took the Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise only a single second to jump to his feet and over the back of the sofa, taking two steps of the stairs at once and crushing Leonard into a tight embrace.

"Bones." he whispered again followed by an awkward silence.

"Air." the doctor coughed and Jim let go of him blushing fiercely.

"Sorry." he mumbled.

"Nothing to be sorry about, kid. I'm the one who should be sor..."

Leonard was stopped by a beep of Jim's communicator who opened it with a sigh.

"Captain." the cool voice of a certain Vulcan sounded through the device but Dana thought his voice sounded just a little bit worried? No, not worried, she decided. Urgent. Spock sounded urgent. Just like someone who was going to break bad news.

"Everything's ok, Spock." the young captain grinned. "I found him! I finally found him!"

"If you refer to the whereabouts to the ship's CMO this is a positive turn of events, Captain, but I must inform you..."

"Later Spock! Later!" the Captain told his First Officer and snapped the communicator close - his eyes never leaving the face of his friend searching for any signs of escaping it seemed.

Dana smiled and the Doctor snorted with amusement trying to cover his nervousness. "I'm not going to jump over the balustrade and run away, Jim. I'm a doctor not an actionhero."

They both fell silent and Dana could see a whole horde of a elephants tromping into the room. She shook her head with a sigh. Boys... There they were. Each one absolutely smitten with the other, declaring their love to the other man to an old woman - Dana paused a moment, grinned and corrected her thoughts: a slightly older woman... no need to make herself feel spent - and now facing the one true love and still not able to say a single word.

What was it that made it so difficult for men to simply admit they were capable of deep feelings? They saw emotions as a weakness, she supposed. But didn't they realize that at least the female half of the population could see right through that badly held up facade?

"Boys, why don't you both come down here and have another cup of coffee? It's nearly six in the morning now and we could as well get started with the new day."

The Captain and his doctor who seemed to have forgotten that Dana was still in the same room both jumped at her words.

Jim grinned sheepishly. "Sounds good to me, Mrs. Ottman. Bones?" he asked cautiously.

The young doctor nodded. "You lead, I follow."

Dana heard the unspoken 'everywhere you want me to' and smiled lovingly at the shaken CMO. They both descended the stairs and Dana retreated to the kitchen giving the boys some sorely needed time to adjust. From the corner of her eyes she saw Jim sinking down on the sofa and patting on the place next to him.

'Good boy.' she thought.

Taking more time than needed to prepare the third round of freshly brewed coffee - she would have to stock up her coffee supplies greatly the next time she knew the U.S.S. Enterprise was going to stay at the Riverside Shipyard - she couldn't help listening in on the two lovebirds.

"Jim. About last night..." Dana could virtually see Leonard wringing his hands.

"Don't Bones... Don't. You don't have to say something. There was no harm done."

'Oh no, Jimmy. Talk about it... Don't avoid it. There's nothing to be afraid about anymore. Don't you see?' The former teacher of the Captain rolled her eyes.

"But I want to, Jim. I'm not willing to take the risk that this... incident... will stand between us in any way." Leonard sounded gravely sorrow-stricken.

Jim's voice was soothing when he answered and a peek to the living room told Dana, that he had taken Bones' hands in his own and that the doctor was staring at their hands disbelievingly.

"Bones. Look at me. Please look at me." There was a short pause. "Nothing in the world could ever stand between us. You're my best friend. The best friend I've ever had and will ever have."

"Even a better friend as Spock?" the question rushed out of the doctor's mouth even before he seemed to realize what he had asked.

Jim chuckled silently. "You can't compare Spock's and mine friendship with yours and mine, Bones. Spock's my First Officer. You know exactly that things didn't start out as a friendship with that Vulcan _bastard_. But we learned to respect each other and that respect turned into trust and trust into friendship. Who would have guessed that years ago at the acadamy? Certainly not me. I have to trust him and he has to trust me if we want the ship and the crew to stay in one piece. He has to know me, has to know why I act the way I do. It is easier for me to tell him things of my time on that damned colony, because he has to know. Much easier than telling you."

"Why?" Leonard asked breathless.

"Because... Bones... You and me... That's different. I trust you completely without telling you things. Because I know I don't have to. Because you accept me the way I am. Noone ever accepted me like you do. You know me. You know my... soul... And I was... I am afraid that those stories from my past... that they disturb you... that they make you see me in a different light. I don't want to see any pity in your eyes when you look at me. I want you to look at me and see that you care about me... ME... not the boy I've once been... I want you to be able to scold me when I'm being an ass..."

"Jim."

"... or doing things that I shouldn't do... and I know I can be a real handful."

"Jim!"

"Huh?" James T. Kirk stopped his rambling.

"You're an idiot." Leonard stated, but Dana could hear the loving smile in his voice.

"Huh?" Jim asked again, dumbfounded.

"Yes, you are. But that is one of the reasons why I lo..."

A beep on the front door interrupted the confession the Doctor was about to make and Dana fought the need to swear loudly.

"I'll answer the door, boys." she sighed and took a mental note that this had been the strangest night in her whole life so far. Who needed to speak with her at 6 a.m.? It wouldn't come as a surprise if some extraterrestrial life form needed her assistance in some worldchanging issues today.

When she opened the door it was indeed an extraterrestrial life form standing at her doorstep.

"Good morning, Mrs. Ottman. I want to apologize for my interruption of your early morning routine. But I'm given the impression that the Captain and the Doctor are currently staying at your domicile. There are certain urgent circumstances I have to bring to attention to Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy."

"Good morning, Mr. Spock." Dana said to the Vulcan. "Please come in."

'I have to wake up, Cathy.' was her second thought 'The girl's gonna kill me when I tell her that the handsome Vulcan had been in our home as well and she slept through it.'

But another look at the Commander's eyes told her that there was no time for new aquaintances. She had been right when she had heard the urgency in the supposed to be emotionless voice earlier through Jimmy's communicator. But she wanted to give her boys - Dana smiled inwardly. It hadn't taken long for the Doctor to become one of those she considered family - the chance to sort things out.

"Mr. Spock. I know this must be really important or you wouldn't come to the home of an unimportant civilian to speak with your Captain..." Spock's left brow rose at her words as if he saw the 'but' coming.

"...**but**..." Dana emphasized the word and the young Vulcan man looked at her expactantly. "... uhm well... why don't you see for yourself and then decide if your current mission could be delayed for just a few more minutes."

"That is an acceptable option."

"Just... be quiet, ok? I don't think they have realized so far that you're here."

The Vulcan just inclined his head in acceptance and followed Dana to the kitchen where they could get a glimpse of the Captain and his CMO of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Probably a whole troop of Klingons couldn't have disturbed the two man who were staring at each other until Jim loosened his grip on Bones' hands and reached out for the man's cheek brushing with his thumb shyly over the Leonard's bottom lip.

Leonard was completely flushed and had caught his breath.

"Jim?" this time the name was a question.

"Do it again." James said huskily, leaning in slightly.

"Do what again?" Leonard's voice was reduced to a mere whisper.

The foreheads of the two man were nearly touching.

"Kiss me, Bones. Kiss me and make me forget that there has ever been anybody else who took that liberty. Make me forget that Frank had taken things against my will which should have been yours - and only yours."

There was a low rumbling growl coming from the doctor's chest before he closed the distance between Jim and himself, his lips crushing down on the younger man's awaiting mouth.

Dana felt tears rising to her eyes and a rush of happiness filled her heart as if the scene displaying in front of her set some things in her own life back in order. And oddly enough it did.

A very quiet harrumph next to her remembered her of the Vulcan officer who had witnessed the passionate kiss between his Captain and the CMO as well. Silently Spock turned around with his hands crossed behind his back making his way back to the front door. Dana followed him.

When she looked up to the blackhaired Starfleet officer she wasn't surprised to see a twinkle lingering in his eyes. Spock seemed to smile without showing it. Very subtle.

So she had been right with her assumption that the young Vulcan had long registered the hidden feelings Jim and Leonard harboured for each other right under the cover of a buddy-buddy-friendship. Dana had the strong feeling that Spock had tried to set things in motion as well but hadn't succeeded with those two pigheaded very human man in denial.

"Concerning the emotional impact the current situation may have on the concentrativeness and the ability to make elaborate decisons it might indeed be better to delay my request for a few more moments."

"That is very kind of you, Mr. Spock."

"It is only a decision to ensure the best conditions for our new mission." the Vulcan stated.

"Of course." Dana smiled and didn't believe a word. "It is good to know that the boys have another friend out there looking after them."

"Indeed I consider both the Captain and the Doctor as my friends." Spock's eyes met Dana's and she understood how important this deep friendship was not only for the three men but for the whole Federation. There couldn't be a better flagship to ensure peace and security than a ship leaded by a commanding crew full of people who trusted each other and spread this trust in the galaxy.

"It was very thoughtful of you yesterday to leave early to give them some space." Dana wanted to show the Vulcan that she understood his true motives.

"You are very observant, Mrs. Ottman."

"Just as you are, Mr. Spock."

"I am sure that you are a very good teacher." Spock seemed to hesitate for a moment. "May I ask you a question?"

"Why don't you just ask?" Dana offered.

"The Captain ust mentioned a man named Frank who took something from him against Jim's will."

"Yes." Dana aswered cautiously.

"Do you know who this Frank is?" Dana Ottman examined the Vulcan's expression and came to the conclusion that Spock had a very good guess what had happened to Jim as a young boy.

"His stepfather. But I think that Jim would prefer to never talk of it again."

"That was not my intention, Mrs. Ottman. Thank you for your trust. Would you please tell the Captain and the Doctor that their attendance is required on the bridge at 0830? I will return to the ship now. It has been a pleasure to meet you."

"Of course Mr. Spock. I will send them right back to you."

"Thank you. Live long and prosper, Mrs. Ottman."

Dana smiled when Spock opened his communicator. "Mr. Scott. One person to beam up."

It had been nearly a week after the commanding crew had returned completely to the ship when Dana had turned on the local news while correcting some awful spelling mistakes - why couldn't kids just understand the difference between 'rain' and 'reign'... ever heard something about 'raining a country'? - when a certain name caught her attention. She turned around and saw the aged face of someone she had never wanted to see again.

_'... has been arrested for dealing in illicit drugs. A house search brought to light that Frank Johnson had been part of a syndicate that provided terrorists on the Septum colonies with illegal weapons. Winona Kirk -mother of the famous Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise - who divorced Frank Johnson 8 years ago stated that she was ashamed to ever be married to a corrupt man like this. Frank Johnson in the meantime asserted his innocence and that he had no idea where the found weapons have come from. But the evidence is bone-breaking...'_

Dana smiled lovingly and opened her communication program and started typing a message:

_To: U.S.S. Enterprise - First Officer Spock_

_From: Iowa Riverside Starfleet Elementary - Dana Ottman_

_Personal Message: Well done, Mr. Spock. I have no idea how you did it. But it was more than deserved._

It took only a few hours until she got an answer:

_To: Iowa Riverside Starfleet Elementary - Dana Ottman_

_From: U.S.S. Enterprise - First Officer Spock_

_Personal Message: Thank you, Mrs. Ottman. Though I have to inform you that I don't know what you are referring to._

Dana giggled. She really started to like the young Vulcan just like the other two boys.

_To: U.S.S. Enterprise - First Officer Spock_

_From: Iowa Riverside Starfleet Elementary - Dana Ottman_

_Personal Message: Of course not, Mr. Spock. But I have to tell you that you earned the title 'mother hen' this very moment. It's up to you now to look after them._

A few seconds later a new message blinked:

_To: Iowa Riverside Starfleet Elementary - Dana Ottman_

_From: U.S.S. Enterprise - First Officer Spock_

_Personal Message: That is my intention. We are leaving orbit today._

**End - Part 1**

**That this is the last chapter took my by surprise as well. It just fitted... But there are still so much unsolved problems. So there will be a Part 2!**

**What kind of mission was so urgent, that Spock had to beam down to Mrs. Ottman's house? And did Jim and Bones just kiss? Did they declare their love?**

**Part 2 will be from a different point of view. Perhaps changing point of views. And Mrs. Ottman will definitely be part of it! Do you want me to continue? Tell me your opinion :)**


End file.
